Rock 11

Sunday morning and raining again. Nice restful day so far. I enjoy Sundays, both for the religious context and for the free time to accomplish housework. In the winter, the garden is out, so there is even more time.

I continue to feel better after my surgery. The scar is ever so obvious, but there is no pain without pills. As you know, I prefer not to take pills. However, I am taking the pills for the pressure issue. No pain there, but a bother. And now I have the pills for the effects of the treatments starting Tuesday.

One item I like to do in the winter is rearrange the house. You see I enjoy yard sales all summer and do not take lots of time to stage the items. The winter allows me to find better places for them and make the house feel more homey. Have been doing this all weekend with great success. It is fun to do and makes the place feel bigger as the piles disappear. Good therapy for the house-bound.

Saturday something rather strange occurred. Despite my diet, I suddenly felt the urge for a good pizza. Consulted the website at The Dude's place and found a terrific veggie pizza with my favorite stuff. Since my best friend shows up at 5, I requested an order before 7, as constructing them takes time. Thought it would be nice to have something different and to see The Dude at least briefly and show support for the business, of which he is most proud.

And so I ordered online. Since he knows the location very well, I just used first names as we always do. Sent the order in with like 3 hours to spare. And waited, waited, waited, and waited. Got anxious. At about 6, the phone rang and no one talked. I said hello, got no answer, and hung up. Have a hunch there was a connection, as no order ever appeared. It was a legit order and there was no reason not to ring it up, but for some strange reason my order just did not show. And The Dude did not speak to me about it. Quite puzzling.

So I fixed what was available in the end and skipped the pesto pizza. My loss. And it is the next day. And I am still hungry and would like to share lunch with The Dude, if he is up and available. I hope he calls within the hour and plans something fun. It is the perfect day for a chat. I am thinking The Ram, but perhaps Jakers. Or whatever. The Dude usually has good ideas. He knows me so very well.

Good Saturday morning, world. It is raining here at home, and the rain fits my somber mood. I have had quite the 3-day trial, with several events not handled great. As you can imagine, the coming start of my cancer treatments is hard to put aside. So I work around the big rock on the trail and try to spruce up the house and get the supplies in. I usually do a long coffee this day, but I am hoping The Dude will drive. The dampness is not a big incentive!

As you can see from the below, I was most upset in the last episode. It is all true, and I stand by it. And I WAS upset with my best friend. And as a result, he has not talked to me since. No surprise there either. We are both rather high strung and sensitive. I think my age gives me the edge here, but we both tend to over-react.

The deal is that my pal showed interest during a lunch recently in topics that are uncomfortable for me. Then he sort of lied when asked. It was very unlike him, and I took offense. He dropped me off, and left now for 3 days. They were, of course, the holiday days, just the perfect time for a cutting argument!

Well, I have thought much about The Dude. While what I said was the truth, the context was totally lacking. I and we have a much more major issue in my cancer, and a secondary issue in the job future, that deserve attention. A fairly minor issue, while troubling to me at many levels, should not change the focus. We have tackled my problems together, and I do not want anything to change. Tuesday is the Zero Day for the attack to begin. And neither unsderstands what will happen or how bad it will get. I pretend that since it is not yet D Day, there is no worry. BS.

So I hope my best friend The Dude will also rethink our situation and share a long coffee/chat with me. The weekend just does not start right without it. I feel good today, no pain, no weight loss!, but able to function and discuss and tell someone I am sorry. Hope my loyal pal realizes how tough the present is for me and ignores the bloopers.

The morning of a holiday. Nice sunny weather. Slept late, as I am tired these days with the medications and the concern about future treatments. I try to relax, but it is difficult until I get so sleepy there is no choice.

It is just past noon now, and I am ready to go, for whatever that is worth. Off lifting restrictions today, so hope to hit the leaves and see how it goes. It has been freezing so far, so the leaves are heavy. And rain is forecast. May have to defer on those leaves!

I fear it takes me very long to see the light. Always has. I have always lived on hope and ignored the reality whenever possible. Wednesday really taught me a lesson. My dear friend The Dude agreed to lunch and a run to refill my blood pressure pills. Looked forward to seeing him, as always. He has meant the world to me, and we have discussed a future business. So seeing him was to be a very special treat.

Well, some weeks ago he decided that eating lunch did not help our diets, so he just stopped. So we go out and he finds others things to do while I eat. Bothered me, but if it works for him, so be it. We both need to shed some tonnage and are doing just that. Of course if he does not feel the need for lunch, he is less inclined to go at all and to use the time for errands. Since I have become ill, we go perhaps once a week. We used to happily go daily and have a great time. We no longer do. Still, it has been good to see him at all. I am home all the time, as my condition is not great and I get tired easily. Since I do not have a vehicle, walking can do me in. The Dude picks me up, which is very nice.

Anyway, we drove to The Coop. He suggested going into our favorite 60's store while I got the refills. Well, I felt like following him. He was looking at dresses! I made some smart aleck comment, and he said dresses were unisex these days! Guess I just was not into the trends!

Then we walked into The Coop. I always have the veggie sandwich and chips, which he too used to have. He began general shopping and bought a bag of apple pieces. Then, instead of sitting down and chatting, he insisted on taking me home so he could work in another errand. He said if he had known I had the pills already, he just would have run the errand himself. Well, I went out earlier because I was totally out and no longer expected him to help me out.

I arrived home in plenty of time for the lunch hour and very much depressed. Of course it is nice to see my best friend, and of course I enjoy what chatter we have, but to be put so clearly in a second class position to his teenage date is pretty much the old slap in the face. I was picked up to help me get the pills I need, not because he really wanted to see me. The lunch hour is more valuable to him to pick up stuff than to discuss future business. Guess I had been feeling this for awhile, but never was I in the way in such an obvious way. Yes he tried to save me time, but only because he owed some kind of favor. And he could not continue the "favor" for the entire hour at that!

So here I am today, alone again on a holiday. I have not been with people I carred about on such a day for many years. I get invited, but only to fit in with some strange family. Nice gesture, but still out of it. So I have been here before, and it's OK. I have chores to do around Acorn Cottage and the two cats to love. Been here, done that.

But this year was different. I had a new and dear friend. The Dude, who came to mean the world to me. He is a bit weird, but endearing. We have done everything together and shared life honestly. And then I realize that my illness has torn us apart. As he has often said, not working together for now means we have little in common. His words, not mine. So he has just paddled on and helped me with the chores. Nice gesture, but I expected so much more.

Well, now I know, so I will try to be more considerate. I care enough that his choice are important. And I care enough about myself that pushing for false choices is not a pleasure. I have been alone nearly all my life, so I can do it again. It would be easier with him, and I have serious medical stuff ahead, but if he would so much rather be with other people, who am I? Lucky Dude. I will remember and do better from TG forward. Have a great life, Dude.

Usually I blog much earlier in the day, but it has been one interesting stretch. Just got back from the second market trip of the day. Cold outside, snow over, just clouds. I did not wear enough clothes, a common problem with me. However, everything is fine now. The cats and I are bundling for the evening.

Interesting situation with The Dude. Did not see him for lunch, which I always regret. Whether or not he decides to eat anything, we always find something to do. But he left an e mail and split. The e mail indicates he is searching for a truth serum to test his current chick. It certainly would seem something is lacking in that relationship, as I have sensed. His approach is, for him, probably typical. I would respond that if there is doubt to be settled by an herb, forget it. If it requires a trick to test the conduct, something is very wrong.

My simple response is that The Dude already has a good friend who is honest and open and who highly values his friendship. This person would be happy to step in and complete the picture. The person has been excluded so far, but not because there is any doubt about honesty or feeling.

So I say to my friend The Dude to go in new directions, try a new approach, and reap the rich rewards. You know what and who I mean.

Put the vacuum away at last. Energy is a problem right now, so simple tasks may take more than one try. Yes, read above. I managed to trip and dump a plant. Potting soil all over the living room. Not a smart move any way you look at it.

I was enjoying a special of "Oklahoma" last night. Very well done, with camera shots showing the production story as well. Singing was glorious. At the end of the second act, I just was pooped. Got up to turn in, missed the stairpost, and dropped. Did not hurt myself, but really tossed stuff. Just turned in and hit it this morning. Not much to do, except for all the soil. Finally have it under control, we hope. Plant lives, but with fewer leaves. These things seem to happen when you begin a medical program. Hope not to break anything. You have to plan out the route a bit more than usual!

Today got off to a splendid start. Lovely morning, good animals, nice visits. Thinking about a longer walk, but distances give me a problem. I suggested to The Dude we go to a nice place for a lunch, but he has not responded. I know he skips it usually, but maybe a weekend is more festive. I am pretty hungry, but cannot walk alone.

Much going on in the future. The upcoming week has just one doctor visit, not a major one. I am still working on the old b p and trying to reach normal, but I am sure the other portion is not helping. I expect The Dude to pull out all the stops on the holiday and provide a chance to catch up. Perhaps if I make the case, he will not. I love to win, but if we are normal at last, we both do. We have both gotten nice remarks about our "contest." Oh, well, back to enjoying a Sunday.

It has reached late afternoon. I have been trying to raise my spirits and put things in perspective. The day remains clear and cold, with quite the wind chill. I hesitate to go out in my condition.

The Dude is throwing an open house party, and I was invited, but without a ride. I hesitate to walk even from a bus stop given my recovery. And the person who was supposed to offer a ride has not. So I have been home by the phone, but to no avail. Found a promising final will website, but did not complete the paperwork. Decisions to be made.

It hardly is The Dude's fault I have no ride. The host cannot be expected to also collect his guests. But I really would enjoy a change of pace. I am home alone so much these days that I have worried the deal out from every angle. I figured a light change of pace would be very nice. Wish it were true. So I sit here and wait for the TV news. Dinner looks good, too. Can only hope The Dude has plenty of fattening leftovers and does not hesitate! Would I enjoy pulling ahead? Are you kidding? He has bragged for months. Time for a change of pace.

I hope the next week allows me to do new things and put the recovery in some reasonable light. In one sense, the removal is over. Now is just extra precaution. It is time to think ahead and stop worrying, which I would gladly do if the side effects could be ignored. A treatment for 90 minutes every so often would be fine, if it did not take days to recover. And with no help, it will be one major challenge. Hope I do not fall down the stairs or something equally stupid.

Good morning November 22. The fortieth anniversary. Brings back very sad memories for us still alive, about half the population. It may be worthwhile to begin with a short recap. I was a college student, lower class in 1963. Wanted to attend Berkeley and did. One of my required classes was math, which I very much did not want to take. Hoped to get by remembering high school stuff, but that strategy had begun to fail. I had a mid-morning midterm in a hard class. Feeling woozy already, and the television was on in the lobby. The President had been shot. But no final word yet. Was the test going ahead? You bet. The professor would not be distracted by such an event. So I tried to work it out, did not do well, and there was a death as we walked out the main door.

The weekend was rainy. Sort of fit the mood. I watched the service with my roommate at our church. Since TV showed every step, I often took a ping pong break to lighten the load, while he saw everything. I felt guilty then and even more so today. But I remember enough, and it was overwhelming. Such a charming, intelligent man. Such a lovely family. So many bright goals. And all gone over to a man we suspected would not follow through. In passing, I should note that I later saw the temporary and the final gravesite. Made two trips to DC in the next two years. One led to Europe, which I hope to do again with The Dude. He is thinking it over. I think we would have one splendid time. And if he delivered pizzas in Italy, we might be able to pay.

Anyway, today is today. I am running a bit late to get to the Coop. The Dude has an open house, but he knows I cannot get over there. I have seen his place, quite nice. And I would like to see him. But he knows I cannot walk there, so I will just go ahead with the usual and think about health issues. So much on the plate, but not calories. And, drat, I did not break that barrier even with eating so little. I suppose my forced lack of exercise is costly. I only ate lunch, but it was a whole sandwich.

I am still coping. Had a couple of e mails from some surprised friends who never had such a problem. Nice sympathy, but I am still alone. Have another week to prepare. The surgery seems better, and I should be normal on Tuesday. Seems to be healing. Wish that were ALL.

The Dude shows no sign of stepping up to the plate in this crisis. He has been there, been concerned, cared, but seems to be backing away from the BIZ. Cannot really blame him. He is younger and in good health. He has plenty else to keep him busy. So while I stop and heal, he just goes on the same. I am glad in the sense of a best friend, but also disappointed we are not using this down time to plan things out even better than we could. I may consider options during my coffee break today and make notes. Do not want to toss my dream. I realize how much fun we could have and how much dough we could make. And, I suppose, how skinny we would both look.

On the cancer front, it is interesting as the surgery heals, it is the "prevention" that is the fear. One should be overjoyed that the removal is done. But the harder portion is the 8 treatments to find any elusive cells. The possible outcomes during treatments sound awful. Especially alone. I will have to set things up to get through it. Can use The Dude, but how interested is he in cancer? He seems to be willing to attend the first session. I am told I will remain alert and able to chat, so it could be a nice bonus. And I can get home. Then the long days really begin. But since I am supposed to eat rich foods and not skimp, it does sound tempting. Have not seen a rich food since that lunch bet so many months ago with my best pal. He put me on, then we started taking it off. I found out yesterday he has not raised the white flag yet. Still reducing, and I am so proud. Wish we were similar in numbers, but he looks sooooo good. Blond hair???

Just have not gotten to my blog today. Been on the computer, but doing other stuff. Read a blog from The Dude. Weird, man. Enjoy his stuff, but he is one spaced out character. Hi, Best Bud!

Yesterday I had Chemo 101. Learned so much, most of which scarred me. So much can happen. Had more blood tests and a heart test. The key is if the old bod can take it. Hope it can. He said if I were older, he would use pills. Actually sounds good! Anyway, I got through the reading this morning and filed away. Got a free thermometer, which is crucial. And a free mug. And free water. And free literature. Quite the class members. Hope I come out in better shape. And the bandages are off for now. Will be "free" again next Tuesday to lift stuff, for a few days.

Wish I knew what was going on. Just have to trust. Read a book about saying no, which sure is tempting. But if no, then what? Taking chances. Yes, I would be better off in the short run, and maybe longer, but who knows? I am not one to rely on doctors, but when you know nothing, who else? I already eat healthy stuff, so cannot really do more. In fact they suggest not so healthy stuff to feel better. Always works for me, but then The Dude smirks.

Yes, I am in new territory. Have been sending e mails to whomever. Nice to hear concern. The Dude has asked about coming with, which means the world to me. We can learn together. Not OUR idea, but a given. Hope he always has fine health.

Another gray morning, but not cold. Yes, I am seeing a doctor later today, this afternoon, with the hope of removing a tube/bag that is a big bother. Depends upon the activity this morning. So I am back at the computer for a time.

Each day depends upon the doctors. There has not been much change in the past week, but I see several in the coming days. Also have managed to reach 200.5 pounds, about as close as one can get to the "magic" mark that shows the first real improvement. The Dude claims to be far below that figure, but has provided no proof for sometime.

I feel adrift. I hope when I know someone else who has cancer I will make more effort to provide comfort and humor. While I understand various duties, being told my best friend is "too busy" kind of sends the wrong message in my humble opinion. I did chat with another friend Monday about his history of dog ownership. I love pets as much as the next guy, but 2 hours on dogs is a bit of a waste. Not giving too much of yourself. I also chatted briefly with another old friend who is the the grandfather of a young student at the area school. She, at 5, is facing her second bout and another several months in the hospital. What did she do to deserve it? Or most anyone else?

I claim no special knowledge of the "Big C." We all know how smoking plays a vital role. But beyond it, how do the others get selected? I do not smoke and did eat healthy foods. Made no difference. Yes, it seems unfair, but much of life is. So is a war zone, or a storm, or a car wreck. Glad my good bud The Dude has not been touched. Hope he never is.

So life goes on. If things go as planned, I see the main Doctor this afternoon and hope for improvement. If not, we must postpone as we have twice. The morning seems to be the main time. How I would love to get rid of the Tube!

With the decision by The Dude, my main man, to put off any further action on the Biz until sometime later, the bloom goes off the rose. It is hard enough to generate ideas, much less ones that just may or may not be good enough at some point whenever. Sort of mocks the drive required for the individual Biz. Facing this, I am just at a loss. Need to deal with several issues, and then a bud who may or may not have time for someone fighting cancer. His plate sure must be fuller than I have been told. But whatever, there are still always feelings.

Good Monday morning, bloggers. It is cloudy and wet here, but that feels good. Rather fits the mood. I slept well, but the pain of the operation is beginning to affect me. I tooik the first of the pain pills, of which I can take 6 per day, if necessary. As I prefer not to consume drugs, I do not take anything without cause.

Another week of battling cancer has begun. I am proud to say the weight remains just above 200, so there is a great chance of making a dent this week. Frankly, Dude, I did buy a bag of natural cookies on sale and did eat the entire box, not too many in fact. Mmmmmm. I was afraid my "cheating" would really cost, but it did not. Yeah. They were good, but not worth it. My #1 goal remains weighing less than my best friend The Dude. I have a very long road to travel.

Tomorrow I see 2 doctors. One should remove the bag and drain setup, which will be a relief. While it does the job, it also can be felt constantly and reminds me of my situation. The other is the radiation person. I hope he finds no reason to go further, but who knows? The appointment is very early, so I have to walk over in rain and chill, or even snow. Since The Dude seems to be backing off of helping his bud, I can only count on myself.

Frankly, as we start another week of recovery, my best friend The Dude seems to be backing away from my problems. Don't like them either, but so what? I have to handle them somehow, alone or with love. He has not been suggesting lunch, and I do not believe he came over once in a week. And, of course, he backed off our business. As a result, I feel all alone. He has been such a comfort all along and for many months before. Yes, it bothers me greatly, but I do not control others. If they refuse, I just figure out how to handle. His willingness made a major difference. Now here I am. And with a coupon to The Dock!

I enjoyed the coffee shop Saturday, even if alone. I felt more like staring than thinking, so it worked. In fact, a nice young person seemed very interested, even if with another. There was a smile, a twinkle, an interest - all felt pretty good. While I have the scar, it is not visible. I look about the same, but much thinner. Seems to be doing the trick. Of course I have been interested only in The Dude, but if the rules change, well...Not my choice!

So we start another week. I have no appts. today, but hope to do lunch. Would be nice to get out of the house even briefly and talk things out. I had a decent weekend, if not exciting. Hope the recovery is on track.

Good Saturday afternoon. It has been many days without an entry. Same with The Dude. I just returned from the weekly trip to The Coop. Missed the bus, but otherwise did fine. No pain. The leaves outside are beautiful, and the rain has let up for a few hours.

I had hoped to meet up with The Dude. He informed me he was not ready to open our biz. I have also been informed I need to get 2 more opinions on the cancer treatment. All in all, not a great week. However, the scar seems to be healing as promised, and the diet continues to be a success. The Dude claims to be way ahead, but he seems to be avoiding the scale these days. And he was most willing to eat candy.

All in all, things are really in a big mess for me. I care so much for The Dude that there is no one else for the biz. We have spent months preparing. And now that my time is available to work on a plan, no dice. I still think about it, but if we are doing it on my energy level and my brainpower alone, it just is not the same.

Enjoyed going to The Coop this morning, but it is not even close to the same as when my tutor is explaining how he uses the stuff. He has such enthusiasm for the products, and I learn so very much. Yes, I enjoy seeing the aisles, but the happy ringing is gone. Bought some good stuff for sure, but it was not even close to my fav place as usual.

I am moving closer to some decisions. And Tuesday is the big day medically. So I am trying to relax and piece together a confusing week. And I was unable to see The Dude once, which hurt.

Third try. Not fully in gear this week. Just finished up the chores and the pills, my morning routine. We have another day off. I just heard from The Dude. He has also been out of things. So sorry to hear. He is always in my heart and any problems become mine. We are a sad, if talented, pair right now.

Sunday was fairly slow. I wore up and worried, so slept in and was late all day. Had a nice phone call from Phill, old "double l", from Phoenix. He has his own problems right now. Come one, come all. While I wish no friend ill, the honesty is pretty startling. I suppose cancer is the very worst, so sharing "more minor" problems seems OK. I also got a nice plant, now on the porch, from my neighbors along with a nice card. They have been great, and I much appreciate all the street folks. All houses have been kind and concerned. One just never knows until...

There is some good news, including another day off. The drainage seems to be less and something else. And the scale continues receding. I am just above the 200 level at 201. The Dude claims he cleared this weeks ago, but he admits to cheating lately and not taking the scale. And he even helped himself to a candy bar from my bowl, claiming he would eat it later. Yeah, in the car on the way home? While I greatly admire his drive, his willpower sure is suspect. Frankly, I have not cheated once and seem to be creeping down to pass The Dude and win the non-bet. We both win, of course, and we could not be happier. But the First is the First!

Last night I ate a chili bowl prepared by my bud. It was meatless, of course. One can always hope! And it was just tops. I much enjoyed it and still have more to go. He is a talented soul, and I just enjoy whatever is shared. The neighbor produced something from her conference, a bean salad. Smells wonderful.

I have it about together this morning. Took extra time, but it just does. The Dude says he still feels rotten, which makes me very sad. He has a lot going down these days. Hope to see or talk to him anyway. Otherwise, another day for healing.

Sunday morning. Have spent the usual time taking care of my medical stuff. The most time is the extra care required not to unhook something or pull anything. It is getting pretty routine by now, but never fun. I slept well, after a few problems, and awoke late. BScotch was her usual friendly self, a real people puss. I was up during the night, but managed to overcome the problems.

Last evening I watched my favorite European travel program. The tour was of Venice and nearby cities. Sure looked great. I recalled that some weeks ago I suggested here to The Dude that we should count on a trip to clear our minds about business and see some new things. He has yet to get back on this idea. It is a bit heavy, so I can wait. Not really into mapping trips right now myself. However it would be tremendous fun, and I would much enjoy his take on things. Hope we can discuss in the near future.

And further, the weight continues to improve. I must admit that limited activity and little to eat is not the right way to diet, it is all I have. So without further chatter, the dial this morning was at its lowest level. It was just above the Magic 200. Since I know The Dude cheated on candy recently and in plain sight took a bar from my very own bowl, I am hardly worried he is any farther ahead. He admitted not weighing lately. Wonder why, huh? Is he afraid? Oh, well, I just keep on keepin on.

It has been a pleasant weekend so far. However, I got so tired yesterday I started falling down. The lack of sleep plus medical devices can really sap energy. Sure I rest most of the time, but any exercise seems to take its toll. I am debating today already. If it remains rainy, it is an easy call. Would not mind going out for grub, but if no one is available for a ride, probably need to stay home.

Good Saturday morning. It has been awhile since the latest entry, and I have been pretty busy. Had surgery Monday for cancer and came home Tuesday with medical stuff to tend. It is not too bad, but a constant concern. Prevents going out much without careful planning. I did see the DR Friday, but they just checked the stuff and sent me home. The hope is on Tuesday some will be removed. In the meantime, business as usual.

Actually I feel about as before. Sometimes medical stuff requires attention, but once I get up and going, I am in the groove. Does not take constant notice, but every so often. There really is no pain, for which I am most grateful. I have pills at the ready, but am trying not to take even more. There are plenty of regular ones for the blood pressure problem.

Oh, yes. The weight continues to drop even without much exercise. Pushing 200 from the top once again. The Dude has been pretty careful not to give his post-candy stats, so perhaps I am closing? Nice, but hardly #1 at this point. I am trying to do all the doctors ask and get through this post-op phase.

The past few days have been slow. I tend to just be at home, even with a few walks. One downtown Friday went just fine until I started home. I began to tire and could hardly make it. At least it was not fun. So I do much sitting and reading and computer stuff. In contrast to the last time, the computer really adds one great dimension.

As for the holiday weekend, I hope to see The Dude. We have been apart much of the week. Usually we have coffee at this time, but I am not sure. Probably will just wait until I hear the word. If he can pick me up, it could be fun. He also gave me a big box of homemade chili, which I have yet to try. Took forever just to de-frost. Looks great. And I have odds and ends all over the place. Hard to eat a complete meal with all going on.

Start of a new week, this chilly Sunday morning. I slept well and woke up early. Butterscotch had something to do with it. She really knows how to sleep!

Well, we are a day from surgery. Yes, it is at the top of my mind. I am not really worried, but it sets into motion so many things. The procedure has kind of frozen actions for 2 weeks. I feel good, wide awake and perky. Planning an outing to the market, then perhaps a quiet day. Would just love to go to lunch with The Dude, unless he has other plans. I am hoping he was given lots of candy on his deliveries, as he has little resistence. He tends to lose fast, then cheats like hell and makes it interesting. I ate very little Saturday and gained as usual. Still near the 200 blockade. Would like to move on, but cannot seem to do so. Perhaps the chilly weather does not help. But what can I do?

I am still thinking over what to do after surgery, other than come home and rest that is. Hope the pain is not too great, and ditto the leakage. The Dude has thankfully indicated a willingness to help out, and he is always most welcome. We may need to do soup again. Guess it depends upon success and timing. I will just go with the flow. Am a bit worried about a forecast of a major storm Monday with snow on the ground. It is a long, cold walk during winter. I should be able to make it, but we shall see. Since The Dude has not forked over my bus pass, I guess that is out.

My thinking on the future has just about come together, but I need to hear from the DR. I could not have a better partner, nor someone I prefer to do business with. He is very special. I believe we can pull this deal together in short order. But I suppose major thinking will have to await the results. Have been wondering where the cells arose, or what exactly I did wrong. Just not sure, so cannot spend much time on the topic.

Yesterday was nice, but lonesome. I waited most of the morning, then made it for coffee and shopping. It was pet adoption day, and I saw some cute kittens, for which I have a great affection. Could not see bringing any more home right now, but I petted a few. I usually get them wild around the block, but we seem to have finally solved that issue. When I moved here some years ago, there were lots. Some were very mean. Now I have the 2 remaining, and they should do for now. Then I came home, napped, and goofed off.

Anyway, time to kick off the day. Hope I hear from The Dude shortly about some good grub. Perhaps I can cheat once on this special day???

Cold Saturday morning. Last night went well, with several nice family groups coming by. The candy was sufficient, and I have a few bars left. Diet test! And I saved the fav ones for last, too. Anyway, the groups ended early, so the evening went well. I did, however, miss seeing The Dude's doctor costume. I of course invited him over, but he had deliveries to make. He said it was very bloody.

I am nearly ready to do a Coop/coffee run. Not sure if The Dude will join me. His nights can be late or whatever. There is a special group at the place today, so it could be fun. It is a very chilly morning, so I will be sitting indoors for sure. Will miss the easy living of the patio, which has been such a part of the summer.

Friday was a fun day. Ate lunch with The Dude and had our usual diet plate. We had a good discussion of the future and agreed that we could stop probing the whole idea, accept our partnership, and get on with specifics. The Dude said if an idea did not work for him, we would just find something else. Sounds good to me, and I went away most happy. Food was as good as usual, and I ended up not having dinner at all. Hope it helped the diet, which has been just above the 200 barrier.

Frankly, today brings the operation directly ahead. I have not been too concerned so far, but with the weekdays gone, Monday looms. Since there is nothing to be done, there is no reason to worry. Sure! The Dude says he will be there for the whole thing, which is a great comfort. It would be hard to be totally alone. We will find the truth about growth and spread. Not sure I want to do that! However I have been reading stories about people who heard the worst and kept on keepin on. And after Monday comes the discussion about work, theirs and ours. Anyway, I am ever so glad The Dude wants to hang in there with me. We likely will try to do a meal together, whether normal or that great soup combo. I guess we just take a step at a time. The climax of so many trends is just ahead.

Anyway, The Dude said he will try to make it for coffee today. He works late, so has problems getting ready early. I am going anyway as I need some more food. And even alone it is a fun trip. I can use a diversion. No reason to worry, but that never stopped me. Will be so nice to see The Dude.