Rock 11

Lovely Tuesday morning. Lee worked all day Monday and made good progress. We still have many issues, but the project continues. One side is nearly prepared for new siding and paint. While the work is somewhat irritating, it is underway and someday will conclude. I am picturing great things.

I read The Dude's blog with photos of his heroic jump. His life continues to interest me greatly, even if I am not too involved. He continues his unique ways, and I am always involved in my best friend's adventures. He discusses eating lunch while bleeding profusely. Gruesome image! Hard to imagine, but not in this situation. Glad he did not get a snapshot!

Today looks to be more of the same. I expect Lee anytime to continue prep work. Temps are great, and I am wearing the first shorts of the summer. In my situation, each day is somewhat unique. You never know who will call, drop by, or send e mail. Therefore a day can be really boring, followed by a harrowing one. Oh, as for my diet, samo, samo. The Dude presented me with some great donuts, my favs, which I have yet to try. Drying out as we speak. While I appreciate his gesture, he knows full well I have been watching things for nearly a year. Failure is not an acceptable goal.

Mid afternoon on a truly lovely day. Clear, sunny, people doing gardening, temps going up for the week, etc. One great Sunday! I am just home from a trip to the market. Did not need much, but enjoyed the walk. And on the way home, I said hi to a friend who was renting a block away. He has now bought a nice brick home and seems to be settling.

He kindly asked about my illness, and then we discussed the lessons from various illnesses, especially for the male of the species. My main point was that no matter what you have, be upfront and see the doctor. We both had avoided them for years until both of us had specific issues. Yes, I went as soon as I knew, but had avoided annual checkups as a waste. Ditto for him. His issues are not as serious, but I urged him to just face them and not develop an attitude about them. One either has it or not.

Then the discussion ranged, as it always does, to career paths. He is now a news director, an interesting position. Since my current career path is going around the living room, we discussed him mostly. His opinions of what is news, personalities, market share, whatever. I am only a viewer, so had no technical tidbits to add. But he is a very personable young man, and we ranged far and wide. He also has a pair of cute dogs that, for a change, actually LIKED me. Of course I always smell of kitty. Anyway, I ended up with some good info and even wine. Cool dude!

So I have managed to accomplish zip, while the neighbors seem to be kicking off the summer season. Of course I have lots of time to do the same and even benefit when painting is on tap. I can give opinions, haul trash, and prep the house on the same schedule. Nothing has happened this weekend, so we are still at the stage of replacing boards. No paint has been applied. I expect the coming week to show actual results!

It is The Dude's day plus one (maybe plus one year?). I expect a writeup on Monday. Did not attend his party, as I am not about to walk many blocks after dark -- and back home. Hope he did not conclude "no interest." I thought about him a lot and would have enjoyed showing up. But he seemed to stress others in his life, so I probably was not missed. Have a great year, Dude.

The Dude surprised me with a trip to The Coop. We had the usual coffee to celebrate his big day minus 1. The coffee place is being redone, with the waitress also the carpenter. Interesting unity of skills. We also shopped. Dude needed many things, while I held back. Ended up finishing at Winco later. They have a particular vitamin I need. Ginkgo seems to help my memory problem, and does not seem to hurt anyway, so I got another bottle.

It is tough to express my feelings this afternoon. It has just rained again, so I do not expect any painting effort today. Just so the lights and phone stay on! I suggested having a meal with The Dude, but he had other plans and rushed off. His day, after all. With the first weight loss done, he looks unreal. A loss of 70 pounds makes a guy look positively skinny. Bravo, dear friend. I could not be prouder. And bravo to keeping on the same diet menu, even with a few slips. While I have had ZERO slips, I also am far behind in results. The Dude never looked better.

It is hard to express feelings in this blog. But having a Saturday like old times just brought back so many good memories. Yes, The Dude looks in shape. But it isn't that. It is the sense of achievement we gained. It is the emotions of committing to each other and going for it. I could not be prouder of him, and frankly of myself. In all my life I have never been on a diet so long and done without meat so many months. And still am committed, and still am not going back. And my best friend, in his subtle way, is still urging me on. Surgery has slowed the process, but hardly stopped it. Would be easy to cheat for either one of us.

So The Dude's birthday continues. He is with someone else, his son, and his parents. Yes, it sort of hurts. I wish we could shop together for his special gift. Without wheels, my options are limited. He deserves the best, and I would provide it, but he has not accepted any of my suggestions. So I wait for him. Always urge him on. Am always influenced by where he is in life. While I make small steps, he surges forward. Bravo! I would not have him any other way. Just wish we could share it more.

Nice morning after a thunderstorm. Rain, of course. But Lee was right, no apparent damage to the exposed wires. I trusted him, but was glad to check it out today. The phone is rather important. As for more painting, he is selling his truck and needs to prep it. And Erica probably is at her regular job. So someone will show up sometime. Yesterday progress was made, and the scraping on one side is nearly done. I think we move to primer and paint. We have yet to select the official color scheme and may revisit subject building.

So I am just waiting today. Feeling somewhat tired, but OK. Need to refill several pills, but probably will do it tomorrow during my weekly coffee visit to The Coop. A non-paint day seems to be best, as I do have a few decisions to make at the start. While I hardly run the show, I do have a kind of veto power that can be just awesome. And I have a couple of examples upcoming, but am biding my time.

As for The Dude, I have not seen him this week. His blog claims that he is celebrating the same birthday once again. Ha, ha. No proof is offered, but it was promised weeks ago. I imagine it is rare that a birth certificate and both parents do not know what is going on, but The Dude claims proudly he is living it again. Ha, ha. Anyway, the two of us have nothing going to celebrate whatever day he claims it will be. Of course I hope for a face-to-face, but since it is impossible to supply a present by phone, I just wait to see if he might be interested. So far, zip. In that case, life goes on at Acorn Cottage.

The day has been cozy, but slow. No painting done. No painter here. And yes, another medical bill. Drives me nuts. Instead of a single bill, they arrive monthly, some having gone via Regence. I try to follow the trails, try to analyze the accounts, and try to see all get paid. Rather like contractor etc. payments at my former job.

Failed to see The Dude for lunch. In fact, failed to see any friend today. Peaceful, yes, but not very productive. The painting, while thrilling to see, is slow and will take much longer than planned. Perhaps because my painter has other business/family duties, so cannot devote days just to me. Yes, he reduces the cost, but I would prefer in and out. So we remain at boards removed, paint scraped, and nothing new. Looks awful. Makes you wonder why even begin. Ah, dear.

Even if today accomplished little, the days are helpful to get small stuff done. Since I still poop out during the afternoons, a little at a time is helpful. The weather remains lovely, even if down a bit. I cannot complain, but it is usually my way to move faster and go down the list. This item will require major time, but I think the end of spring break will move it along. Part of today's slowdown was caused by a wet pooch.

One good thing was to see Andrew at the market. He wore something besides black for a nice change. Same style, just different fabric. He is a handsome dude and probably nice company. We look, do not touch, and perhaps hope.

Another nice morning - yes, another. Warm enough to be comfy. I am unsure of today's plans, as the second painter can only work certain days and not today. Lee may be available or not due to spring break. We had a good day, with progress made, but still not fast enough. Lee is thorough, good, so I keep seeing the end game. Not a real bother for me, but noisy with people around at all times. I had adjusted to being alone most days, and now this...

The Dude wrote some interesting thoughts in his blog. For example, he wore a very offensive t-shirt to test reaction. Mine was negative. I am not really offended as a nut of any sort, but the idea of insulting believers seems pointless to me. His thing! And he seems to be developing an attitude that he is doing it HIS way regardless. If you disagree, so solly.

Of course I remain committed, interested, and along for the ride. The Dude is my best bud and a major player. But off the edge? OK. However I read, listen, and enjoy the ride, sort of like the teacups at Disneyland so many years ago. And here we go on another round.

Another nice morning. Today I get a second painter, so the work should speed up. On Monday, Lee was tied up, so nothing changed. While I do not enjoy this process too much, faster is better to finish it up and get on with life. He is indicating that con-struction is going to start soon! I also am noticing that interior features match the greenish tones better and should look as if they were done with the total scheme in mind.

I just read The Dude's blog, as usual each morning. He writes profoundly about his birthday week and his feelings about different items. I continue to be impressed and moved by him and wish him the best always. He indicates a 5 year growth plan, "no holds barred." Not sure where he is going, but always interested in the ride. As before, whatever I can do, I will. We are committed, so gung ho.

I am awaiting the painters. They target 9 or so, so I try to be cleaned up and ready to help wherever. Lee says his assistant is nearly as good, so I am hoping for real progress. Lee himself is no slouch, but he does have other appointments that slow progress. So I just try to help, make the color calls, and offer moral support. The first brush strokes will be BIG.

A fine weekend has started. The painting progressed, with much more siding taken off. I had hoped for a better condition, but what is, is. We have a pile, but not a large one. Lee showed me most of the bad ones, and I hung out on the porch trying not to worry. He made good progress, but I am hoping for faster next week. It will be nice to complete this phase and get on with life. However the new siding will make the place look so much better. Lee says it will seem to be a new home. Ahhhhh.

I missed The Dude this week and news of his work. We each have our own courses to trod, and I am sure he is fine. I am here if he needs me, and he knows it. It would be nice to do coffee today, but I have heard zip. Plan to get medicine, food, then be home if painting resumes. I have a need to know what is happening.

We have reached the afternoon. Painting began late, but progress has been made. And next week is doable. The kids are going elsewhere. We have both stressed the need to keep going. Even with a slow start, I am hoping the rest of the work speeds up. While the painter is a great friend, having another person around all the time puts me on the spot. I am trying to recover, so not exactly busting ass. But I cannot seem to have zip to do. Just putz around, thinking of spring chores, and ready for a decision, which does not come up often. Lee knows his job very well and just goes ahead even when I might be helpful. Oh, well.

We often enjoy a lunch, but have not done so. Helps the diet, as I worried about eating another meal daily. However, a few lunches would be nice. The Dude claims he has achieved his goal, so we are not competing any longer. However, I have promised to reach the target as well. so will not just give up. The Dude understands that the surgery delayed me greatly, so has made no big deal of the difference. He knows I am trying.

Up and waiting for today's painting to begin. We made a good start, although as usual replacing siding is more extensive and expensive than I thought. However, the damage is less. Lee kept prying it off, moving ahead, showing more old wood than expected. He is the pro, and we can hardly debate each piece. However I am keeping my eyes on progress and hoping.

Talked with my neighbor at some length. Suggested he make a writing start by doing this, a blog. He had never heard of it. Lucky I have The Dude, or I would not know either. Figured these 15 minute slices help contour style. The guy seems clueless, just a desire to write. From my experience, writing requires a harder edge than this, even to a soft topic. However, I liked his attitude, his views, and his interest. He has always been a great guy and has grown better. Nice to see him, even if just for one day.

Lovely morning. I hesitate to look at the east side. I have been told the worst is over now, and hopefully it is true. But it was a plus to be involved, I must say. Rather than wondering exactly what is going on, I am there and ready to help when asked. I surely have the time most days, and we get along great. So the new project has begun. For a clue, see the former Graeber's Building.

Late in the day Wednesday. My good friend and neighbor, a student at Idaho, just arrived home for a brief stay. Always nice to see him, and after May he is on his own! It is a very nice family. Although the dad died from cancer, I remain close to the others. They used to own my own home.

Today's big accomplishment was a start on the painting. My good friend and professional house painter arrived with samples. We agree on the general scheme, a complete change, but have not gotten specific. Lee has another house to suggest, so I am holding back. Anyway, the old stuff needs to come off first. He suggested completing a side at a time and checking progress. I expect to help some, but he is the leader. We discussed colors and adding decorations, then he had to scoot. This is a project of some 2 years, so finally making a start is major progress in and of itself.

Well, the new personal year has begun. Planning to open The Dude's vino tonight and pretend he is here, not hustling pizzas. He saluted me in his blog, so it matters. I do not know what another year will bring for us, as we both have full plates. His boy will be walking and talking in the near future. I predict a great future for Sagan, son of smart parents and being raised as precious. The Dude shows special care, and I am so very proud.

Another year begins. The birthday, while not too exciting, was a nice day. In fact I did not eat anything (imagine that) and actually LOST weight on a birthday. A real first. There were no calls, but I received one card from a dear cousin. She just turned 93 herself. And very late in the day, The Dude arrived with his dear son and a bottle of wine. While I regret not sharing the bottle due to the hour, I look forward to that much more for myself! He looked real good, without glasses and without gut. Man have we been through much in our years of closeness, and he has made many things bearable. I salute him with all my heart.

And today is our friend's funeral. Looks as if I have no way to get there. The Dude is not going, to cover the workload. We would attend if we could. I hope Jerry has found a better world. The Dude saluted him in the blog, and I agree 100%. Jerry was a good man, just that and no more. He was a dad, citizen, craftsman, and in the end a sufferer. He will be greatly missed.

Anyway, it was great to see The Dude and receive his generous gift. Life has become such a round of bills, appointments, pills, home repairs, whatever. There is not much real fun, although the "free" time is very nice. I need to pay constant attention to whatever. A few minutes of fun is precious.

Today is my birthday, and tomorrow is Jerry's service. What a mix of emotions! I have never had a year like this one, and in 2003 I just had NO idea. Things seemed as the years before until August, when life changed forever. I am grateful to be here, painfree, and recovering. I am grateful to my 2 doctors and their staffs. And I am most grateful to The Dude, who has stood by me the entire time. And also to out-of-town friends from college who have been immensely warm and helpful. And, of course, to other former co-workers who have called, baked, and kept spirits high. It took a village. Thanks to all who cared.

Now that we are starting a new year in my life, the events to be recalled next time are really vague. I have a few plans for the spring, but not much beyond that. Last year I planned to put in a few years like the others and retire on my pension. Well, no such luck. I am thankful to my parents, whose careful planning left me the funds to recover. And I am grateful to all the many great relatives, now long gone, whose love nurtured me. And I am grateful to The Dude, who love has made a difficult time into something bearable. Whether I deserve any of it, I accept and cherish it all.

And so we prepare for whatever may arise today. A few folks are aware of this day. But whatever, I am grateful for all the days given me. I wish Jerry could see this one as well, but hopefully he is out of pain and in a better place. And to The Dude, whatever you decide for us and the others, may it be the best thing for you always. Thanks, dear dude.

The news was in the newspaper, the news I have been dreading. My good friend Jerry had passed. The big "C" had taken him. We used to share lunch, Jerry the craftsman and myself the paper person. He was big, friendly, able, and caring. While we shared little but an address, I respected him greatly and appreciated his special joy of life. When he became ill, with a situation much worse than mine, I was especially grieved. And then it hit me, and he shared in my struggle. He made different choices, but fought it hard without, frankly, much of a chance.

I had to leave and get the operation. He was back, but doing treatments. I often asked about him and learned he finally had to quit to prepare for the next stage. He survived the holidays, his special goal. Then 3 months later, he was gone. I weep for Jerry and his large family. I know better than most what he went through, both medically and personally. He was a friend and a fellow warrier. He could not beat it. Can I? But I think God has made the choices already. And I know Jerry is in a good place. Goodbye, friend!

Tomorrow is my birthday. God willing, I will make it. It would be grand to show The Dude my take on the foothills, a long walk and talk. Not sure how much he is injured. But the morning is lovely, cool and foggy. There is much to share, as he also knew Jerry. I hope we can share the love of the living, and cherish the dead.

Saturday noon. Just returned from the Coop, a special place I share with the Dude. Bought a few things and looked over the rest. Have good supplies at home, but enjoy the walk each week and also the plants. Nice morning, just right on the temp, and a happy time for all.

It is about time I pull the strands together and set some new goals. The Dude introduced me to a new singer who greatly affects him. Me too. As usual, we agree. He once told me he had to make up conflicts just because. Me, too. Nice thought. Without any pretense, I am with him in mind and spirit. Hurrah!

Might launch a hike. Feet finally seem nearly healed. The hills look very inviting. It always makes the weekend to get away for an hour or so and just think. While I now have much more time to ponder, with all the financial and medical issues, it is not all free time. One good friend said it must all be a weekend for me. Not hardly! As far as appts. go, it is. As far as "no worries" go, not hardly. But still now bad. Except, EXCEPT, for cancer, another non-weekend issue. But we take what we get and work with it. I have wrestled with things so far and plan to do even better.

The walk by the former office today reminded me of that era. I always look at my office. It looked very neat and much as I had it not so long ago. I cannot see the Dude's office, but I imagine it. Gives me a warm feeling to think of where we met and where we bonded. I firmly believe that won't change.

Anyway, the weekend is well underway. Sometimes I would like to see more folks again, but we take what is dealt. The cats and I enjoy each other, so the weekends are warm and fuzzy.

Friday morning and the start of my "weekend." While I do work Fridays and Mondays, I do so with less intensity and more hope. It appears that my insurance crisis took positive steps yesterday, so my fear of being cut off (then what?) lessened. Not that I approve of the cost, but it sure beats zip. Of course one never knows, but that is the point of insurance.

I was called Thursday by a good bud with a job problem. Since I am becoming an "expert," I tried to be helpful. We had an hour consultation, and it sure made me feel good to be needed by someone. I thought my best bud The Dude felt the same, but he is indicating that I do not matter much to him now. Crap!!!

It is a purely lovely morning. I have taken the first walk and enjoyed every minute. Feeling a bit tired after the pressures, but doing well. The horoscope for today is dandy, up and up and up. Reminds me of Janie, who always studied hers, too. While I have never worked out how much faith to put in these, good ones do not hurt! My days tend to waver between boring and intense, so a move up would be terrific. People probably think that being off is a piece of cake, but I have learned a thing or two. It is more intense in a way to be home totally on your own than to just do what one is told and be paid for it. While I am somewhat experienced now, it is never easy. And especially when it was totally unexpected!

So we begin the day. I may have a painting consultation around noon. Or even could see The Dude, someone who really gets to me. I guess going with the flow is the best description. I did 2 computer assignments yesterday and picked up some pocket change, but it does not cover health insurance very well. But it is a start, and we can move on. Looking forward to a sunny day, in both senses of the word!

Well, Tuesday changed quite a bit. I am in the middle of a fight to extend health benefits and may/may not have succeeded. Cannot tell this morning. I did what was asked, but with a short deadline. Total surprise to me. And I also had the first meeting to discuss repainting Acorn Cottage. My good friend and master painter has some free time coming right up, so we are going to have another meeting to nail down (oops) the exact scheme. I have a house in mind, but he feels it is too fancy and will not translate.

The nice weather lifts my spirits, but also reminds me that the new year is off and running. Cannot argue it is too wet, too cold, too whatever not to get buns in gear. I feel pretty good with a good deal more pep than in recent times. But there is more pressure on me to make decisions, some rather important ones. It appears running the house is my next job, and I need to track the budget, the goals, and even supervise a bit. He is the master painter, of course, but I make the final calls. One idea he has is a real tough call, and I have some more time. In a way, it is good I am available for online calls, and whatever, it is what it is.

The Dude has found a new recording he likes. Makes him cry. Guess it is a love song. I sure can identify with that. He sent his first e mail in days regarding my possible birthday event. I did not respond directly, but did fill him in on activities. He remains a part of my existence, and whatever he does, he will be in my soul.

Have to add a bit this afternoon. The Dude decided to make his site all profane, all the time. So he inserted cuss words into zero action. Usual high school mentality at work! Well, to keep readers, I decided to disclose something myself. As you know, I have been taking blood pressure pills, which surely reduce the libido. It seems to take days to be ready, but unlike my bud, I will not specify ready for what.

Anyway, suddenly I had my first wet dream since my own teenage years, the early ones at that. Well, almost. I woke up during the warmup. The image was not the person I proposed to, but an early bud going back to grade school. We never did anything with each other, but he was very motivated, shall we say, and sure tried. He was the talk of the school, and he got many classmates to behave the same. I was not impressed and, being younger, not in as much need.

Anyway, it was amazing. I knew what was going on - or coming off - but this time I was 100% in the mood. The development was great. Nicest moment I have had in ages. Guess it was better to stop, but it would have been most interesting. At least I am still able to satisfy the person I truly love.

Speaking of him, he says he now is trying to sell his services. I watch with interest. He is, no doubt, talented, so we shall see what develops. Of course my informed second opinion might be helpful, but I will hold my tongue until asked. Could even be a business for us?

The light into the house is lovely this morning. Have already taken the first walk and checked my computer business. Usually little happens over the weekend, so mail is small. I am in the process of changing over from provided insurance to privately funded policies, so it is proving to be a hassle and a big expense. I had a stressful situation Saturday, but hopefully covered it. One never knows, since there is no local person handling the changeover. But I seem to have time to do it, if I can figure out a good angle.

Anyway, another work week is underway. The light makes the house look nice and highlights all the small changes I have slowly made these past few weeks. I am a "light" person, so the spring recharges me. Hope it can work again. Actually I feel physically and mentally better these days. Seem to have more energy and drive, which allows other issues to come into focus. Not certain of these, but getting there!

The weekend was lovely, except I did not hear from The Dude. That is not unusual, but discouraging for sure. He is such a pleasure. Our coffee chats are great and so is his cheerleading inside the Coop. I went alone and skipped the coffee. I was running late and did not need much. Sunday's long walk was great, and I feel fine. No foot probs and no weariness. Just the way I hope it stays. I plan many more foothills hikes to rebuild my endurance. Would be nice to be joined by The Dude, as I could show him a thing or two. But brother have I learned you cannot control others. You just hope.

The plans for today are plenty flexible. Company would be nice, but I am learning that most days are spent alone. Same as when I was an only child. I walked hours by myself. Mom rarely did such a thing, and Dad was in his office. The summers were spent outdoors nearly all day alone. Yes, I did go shopping at times, but my skimpy allowance allowed for little. I mostly windowshopped. Other times I just walked. It was a beautiful area, mild climate, and nice views. Somewhat like today's situation.

Nice day at last. Warmer temps, sunshine, dry pavement, hurrah! Just finished another survey. Each one now offers cash rewards, IF one wins the drawing. I have been lucky so far and won several. Not hard work - hardly - but I realize how little I must spend compared with the average. Not really a money question, but simply lack of interest and satisfaction. I read several lists of items to buy in February and did not check a single one.

Anyway, the atmosphere is changing into a spring mode. While I have enjoyed our winter probably due to being indoors so much anyway, I welcome the new possibilities. Walks are always a pleasure, and the dr wants me to work on the weight issue even more. Better than pills anyday. I have managed to hold steady, which took some doing, but I have not really lost for months. Not ideal, and I am ready to hit it again. I have watched my bud The Dude achieve our goals (?), so I am ready to try again. Takes forever, but at least I have remained down 35.

These days, each new day has its own challenges. I often fear them, but am learning to attack them boldly. So far this weekend I have seen no one, which hurts just a bit. But I did make food runs and achieve some good PC progress. As you recall, I was given a much better hand-me-down, and it takes time to load what is needed. Rather fun, and this time I do not have to delete byte for byte! Set up something this morning that, while easy, I did not get done before. Getting used to it now. While The Dude is the expert in our business, I can hold my own with the average dude and likely win a few.

I had some calls last week that I could not get to. Hope the same folks give it another try. Also considering seriously another long walk. The previous one felt so very good. I was not a bit tired, either. Sunday is a great day that offers so many goof-off options. Would like to do a few and take full advantage. Also an excellent chance to think things out. Wish The Dude were with me. He always is challenging, loving, and fun.

Just got home from a walk alone to The Coop. I keep hoping to be met for coffee, but it never works out. The last person to do it now works all day, so cannot spare part of the morning. Anyway, it was a nice walk, but I do feel pooped as usual. Did not buy much, but looked around and chatted. Busy place, narrow aisles, some high prices, but overall worthwhile as The Dude suggested.

My task if I choose to accept it is the future. The first reaction of folks is why did you not go back to work when you were able. I explain the steps and usually get sympathy. But with someone else already there, so what? So I am looking ahead, computing where things stand, and working on my health. I am feeling better and thinking better daily. Being left high and dry now is a bit tough, as there was lots of interest during the fall. But it is not a total surprise. The pulling back by The Dude is a shock, but even there I am trying to accept it and move on.

Once the mail gets handled, the rest of the weekend is all mine. Nothing arrived today that surprised me, so I am on to the best portion of the week. And since I now get so few calls regarding work at all, the entire week is becoming a free time to think. Necessary.

One thought that pops up is the pure pleasure of having someone who seemed to care how I was and was willing to help. It sure was unusual for me and made me realize how much was added to life. I sure would like to find a similar situation, if not the same. Of course the backing away makes one even lonelier, but perhaps taking chances is called for. Of course meeting new people is much harder, and I am frankly no longer in top shape, but still able to get around and chat. We shall see!

Thursday already. Fast moving week. The sun has finally shown, so my walk back from the market was fun. Nice to get the exercise and work on the weight. Should help the b p, as the dr. says. I plan to do something daily if the weather holds. Always enjoyed walking, and now really need to do it. Drugs alone will not totally solve my problem. They have helped greatly, but there has to be a natural way. Oh, on the way down I saw my bud Big Hair. Rarely gets a cut. As usual, he waved and went right on by. Well, I am learning a few new words from the blog of The Dude!

Speaking of The Dude, for some reason he decided to post a "profane edition" on the web. Same storyline, but with cuss words wherever he could fit them in. Some I do not even know myself, so bad is his vocab! The Dude is a very urbane gent, and his desire to swear puzzles me. Rather well done, frankly, but not necessary. His regular blog reads just fine. I am not "shocked" as he probably hopes, but a bit put off. Not worth his talent.

In addition, he has announced plans for a hot air ride. Not something a bit new for him. Oh, yes, in a real gondola basket. That part IS new. He is really working on his "site" and adding new features. He found a very worthwhile petition, which I signed immediately. Good cause, and I salute my best friend for making the effort. He surely is a worthwhile mate. Hope he does not have to remove the finger!

So the day draws to an end. I have been trying to figure out where my retirement stands, when and if. Took longer than expected and not done yet. I have never drawn the strands together until I really needed to. Got one source fixed up, but have others to password and calculate. Very worth the time.

I skipped lunch again today. If we do not eat together, I figure The Dude is acing me out. Want to count each calorie he chomps. The weight looked good today. Down just a bit. Unlike my friend, I have a health problem that should improve with progress. And my eye is, as usual, on the prize.

A day later and p m once again. Busy day in a relaxed way. I am gradually going from worker on SL to recovering person on his way to whatever. I have spent this day paying bills or calculating why not, then on to several things to read. I enjoy the take House & Garden provides, and it comes cheap, so I have gotten it for several years. The bindings make a nice library, too. It is a light read, heavy on the sales pitches, so goes by fast.

I checked out The Dude's page once again. He has this new kick of taking his own photo, right now in the men's room. No face is shown. He also has announced an attempt to jump from a plane this year. I get a great kick out of how the Dude lives life. He surely has the ideas, I mean IDEAS. The blog just makes my day.

Anyway, back to reality, I am beginning to learn to live with "retirement" arriving early. Still feeling a bit tired and a bit phased by the pills, but beginning to get back on track. I hope The Dude and I get it together at sometime soon, but who knows?

Tuesday afternoon. Just scoped Elegantsquid, my bud's site. Seems he had an accident, pix but no details. Worries me greatly. He is training for his first race, or perhaps "was." Finger looks butchered. I have offered to help if needed.

Slow day here. Walked up to buy some fresh salmon, supposed to be good heartwise. Whatever, it is very good tastwise. Unlike the Dude, I continue to consume fish, as it is a real treat. Since we renounced the meat, fish is all that is left in that area. I am eating it several times per week, up from very little pre-diet. And as for that, I remain down 25 pounds and some days up to 35, but cannot seem to go beyond the range. Whatever, it is a better range!

I have the house pretty well cleaned now, just picking at things. The 2 animals seem to sleep all day, so it is quiet and calm. I am afraid one of them is aging and not up to doing more. The other is very active and probably wears out. They provide an unique atmosphere, however, and I would greatly miss the action.

Monday afternoon break. Been cleaning house and tossing really old paperwork. I mean REALLY old. Rather boring, but accomplishing something. Not much incoming news today.

I did, however, read The Dude's blog. He is already plugging his upcoming birthday at the end of the month - and lying about the correct number! He has even listed gifts he would like with web links! How bold can one be??? Of course I had to read his ideas, as I care. However it struck me that since my own ceremony is a couple of weeks this side, what I will do might depend upon the intervening days! Unlike my best bud, I am not listing gifts on the web, but sure would enjoy whatever he thinks of. If nothing shows, oh well.

On my walk today, I ran into an old co-worker. We always catch up on the personal and office news. He seems to be having his problems, but was his usual prickly self. Always a joy to see him. I also looked at the Saturns incoming, but failed to see my pal. Hope he had a good weekend and workday.

New work week underway. And a new month. March brings my birthday and that of The Dude a short time later. Exciting. But it is a ways off, so this week could bring whatever. No medical - hurrah. Have a few weeks "off." I am feeling pretty good, even better than before. Seem to have some pep. Up early and attem.

Sunday was slow. I decided to test my strength by taking the first long foothills walk of the new season. Always a lovely area and my first choice. I have walked up there for many years, taking perhaps 3 different paths. I chose the easiest trek for openers just to see. Well, I was no more tired than usual and not winded. Had a good time seeing the home improvements made the past few months and even some new building. The views are lovely, and I know them all by now. Did not see anyone I knew. Yes, it got lonely without The Dude, but I have no regrets. Made the day. Since I now can do housework daily, the weekends seem free and long. Nice change in a way. While the weekend is not a reward for a working week, it still is a change from bills and phones.

I see The Dude is pushing a performance by a couple of dudes new to me. Coming here next month. Not bad looking. Wonder what they do?? Probably comedy, as I know my bud. Anyway, I had a night of wondering about the future and its twists. Things have been in such a flux for so long now that each week is a puzzle. There are options, of course, but so little set in stone. Nice in a way, but also confusing. Anyway, the new week and month kick off this morning. I feel up to the challenge.